Perfect Piña Colada
A Piña Colada is, traditionally, rum, pineapple, coconut, lime, sugar, and ice. Typically they are blended. Lately, I have been seeing a lot of shaken Piña Coladas, served on the rocks. This is fine, probably even delicious, but for me it moves further away from the soul of the drink.
What is the soul? It’s right in the name. Pineapple. Coconut. It’s not called Piña Colada Mezclada. And yet. That slushy, frothy, ice cold texture. That, to me, is what a Piña Colada should be. But notice it’s also not called Piña Colada Lima, nor Piña Colada Azúcar. Would that even be right? Anyway, I was inspired by a local bar to make this drink. Cotton and Reed, a local distillery, serves theirs with some kind of lacto-fermented coconut and adds a variety of other ingredients. This put me on the path.
Close. So close. I enjoy their Piña Colada very much, but it lacks the tartness that I truly desire from lactofermentation. Supposing we strip away all that is inessential, in pursuit of a truly elegant Piña Colada, what then? Lime is only a distraction. Sugar, wholly unnecessary. Coconut, however, ought to be rich and fatty. With a texture like butter. The only sugar should come naturally from the pineapple.
And to really draw these things out? A pinch of salt. Always.
Perfect Piña Colada
150g fresh-cut pineapple.
150g unsweetened plain coconut yoghurt (I suggest Cocojune)
150g ice
32g light rum
32g dark rum
a pinch of salt
Blend and garnish with trimmed pineapple fronds.
Serves 2.
This is beautiful. You can assemble the whole drink in your blender, 150, 150, 150. Pineapple, Coconut, and Ice in perfect harmony. At this balance, you can taste the dry, lactic acidity of the coconut, the fresh, complex flavors of the pineapple. It goes down easy. Too easy.
I claim this will be the best Piña Colada you’ve ever had. You’ll wonder what kind of heathen ever thought to add lime to this beautiful concoction, only to find it ruined, undrinkably sour, only then to claw it back into potability with sugar. The tragic circuity of a desperate bartender.
Cheers.